It's only mine because it holds my suitcase.

Friday, August 15, 2008


Vivian, after a period of relative sanity during which she reminisced about her first cat and researched solar power companies, is off her meds again. See, Viv (I can call you Viv, right?) is of the opinion that she is still the rightful owner of the house from which she was evicted in April. She bases this belief on her conviction that the eviction proceedings were illegal and having sent the real estate agent (Earl) a check for 41 cents when the house was placed on the market after she was removed. So now she's upset again

Every time I drive past the Coventry home to which I hold title, I observe a car parked in the driveway. Its driver trespassed upon the property. So there is no point in asking who the owner is, because s/he knows I will prosecute.

I find its position in front of the garage door very annoying and don’t want to see it anymore. So if there is anyone who would like a free car, please help yourself.

She then goes on to theorize about which police officer - she knows them all - should arrest the trespasser currently living in her house

But the arresting officer should not be someone who tried to penetrate Linda St. Pierre after my garage door irritated her vagina. This would be a conflict of interest.

To my knowledge, three members of the Coventry Police Department are possible candidates for this assignment: Sargeant Ochtera, Lieutenant Solenski, and Officer Judy. I recommend the last.

Don't ask. Just don't ask. I've gone through her entire confusing, bizarre, and outright disturbing site and can't for the life of me work out what the garage door thing is about.

Meanwhile, in a different corner of whathefrakville, our good friend and mormon rapist Joyce Mckinney is in the news again. It would appear that her decision to go public with her cloned dogs wasn't of necessity the wisest. Especially since she's currently wanted for skipping bail - this is not a repeat - on suspicion of "criminal conspiracy to commit aggravated burglary and contributing to the delinquency of a minor". More precisely, she was arrested in Tennessee in 2004 for instructing a fifteen year old boy to burglarize a house so that she could use the proceeds to finance the purchase of a prosthetic leg for her three legged horse.

Go back and read that last bit again. You know you want to. I'll leave you with this priceless quote from her lawyer:
There was a strong aroma about her, and I told her this needed to be taken care of before I went to court with her.

Quite so

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